hello september.

september: you are the best. you can wear a sweater or you can decide not to.

 you can wear boots with dresses.

 you can roast marshmallows over the fire. it is that time for everything pumpkin. pumpkin muffins that my dear friend alison makes gloriously. pumpkin spice latte. pumpkin bread.

recipe here

the leaves start to turn colors & the weather could not be more perfect. it is also time for my birthday- 8 more days to be exact. i will be 29. what? big things happening in the next year or so. maybe a baby? eek. are you just as excited as i am at that? we looked at a rental property the other night back in carrollton & it is perfect. small little cottage with 2 bedrooms and a basement for all of cory's music stuff. i feel like i am moving into a very different time in  my life. i have thought about going back to school, i have babies on the brain & a move is in the future. a lot of change which is why i wrote my post yesterday about restlessness. i am really excited and really nervous about all of these things & i feel like i am moving into a new level of trust with God. trusting in his plan for this big adventure called life. please follow along with me for this next step in life. i promise it wont be boring.

in other news my sister got engaged! i am so excited & cannot wait to start planning.

cheers,

mrs. estes

my relationship with atlanta.

i have lived in atlanta for about 1 1/2 now. my husband & i run a mission house for a church in midtown. i am a country girl at heart & love the idea of having land and working that land. i read all these blogs about homesteading & follow so many people on instagram & i tend to daydream through their pictures. i dream of a little house, really open with land, some chickens & pigs, you know all of the "good" stuff. i am pretty sure i wrote about a lot of my feelings in this post here

living in atlanta does have it's advantages. i live 2 blocks from starbucks, cvs, & so many more places to eat. if you know anything about cory & i we love food. we love to make food, try new places, stare at food, watch food shows, well you get the point. we are close to parks & we have everything at our disposal, but it's not home. our hearts are not here.

 i have been working on my patience (which is what sunday morning church was about) with where the lord wants us next. i know what we want, & where we want to be, right? what does god wants & where does he want us to be?

when i think about all of this i am reminded of this song by crowder.

                                                               "Here's My Heart"

Here's my heart, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true

I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

Here's my heart, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true

I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through

Here's my heart, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true

Here's my life, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true [x3]

I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through

You are more than enough
You are here, You are love
You are hope, You are grace
You're all I have, You're everything

Here's my heart, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true

Here's my life, Lord [x3]
Speak what is true [x3]

these words are speaking so much truth during this season of my life. i want the lord to have my heart & i want him to speak truth to me. the bigger question is am i ready to hear it? do i even want to know what the lords plans are for my life? what if they are so far away from my own dreams? my prayer is lord help my desires be after your own heart. i truly want that for my life.

atlanta is so big. there are so many amazing people here, so many cool things to do here, but i am a little homesick for fresh air. for running into familiar faces at the local breakfast joint. for what i call the "good stuff". 

with wedds being here i am reminded of all the cool things to do in the city. coca cola factory, the aquarium, cool places to eat, white water, & i can go on & on. wedds is having a really fun time doing all these things, but you want to know what he said when we asked him what he was most excited about. he said "seeing zeke". literally my heart melted. it also spoke so much to me. so simple. he would completely content hanging at the house with his little brother. you should really see them together. they are so cute. i will have to take some videos while he is here. 

my relationship with atlanta is a little rocky. it is a love/hate relationship for sure. i like the convenience of atlanta, but everything else not so much. i am hoping in the distant future i will love atlanta more when i am not right in the middle of it. 

anyone else out there struggle with patience? waiting on the lord for your next step?

i would like to think there is a light during the tunnel and not just at the end. 

cheers,

mrs. estes

smaller homes & big dreams.

the mr. & i have been talking about homes, moving, renting, staying, big homes, small homes, tiny homes & everything else that goes along with it. i watched a documentary on netflix the other day about a young man who built his own tiny home on wheels. it was really small & perfect for a bachelor, but i am at the age where i want my family to grow, whether that be having a child, or adopting a child. i do however don't think i need a huge house either. i want a simple life, a simple home, a simple family, all things simple is what i want/need in my life. this is one of the things that haiti changed about my heart. i know this may sound stupid but sometimes i would just dream about building a house with 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms so i don't have to share the area with guests or my husband or a child when they come along, a huge kitchen with a lot of cabinets and space to bake pies all day, a huge laundry room where everything is organized & i can have jars for everything you can think of, big bedrooms with huge windows so the morning sunlight can shine through, but i don't think of these things anymore.

now my thoughts go a little more like this: i want a small cozy bedroom with a lot of light, i mean after all i do is sleep in there. i want a functional laundry room that serves its purpose, after all i do is wash clothes in there. i want a kitchen that makes use of the space. if i bump into my husband while i am baking a pie then there is a smile and an extra touch for the day. i want a living room where people can come over and they feel at home, where if someone needs a place to sleep they have it, where one day when we have kids & there are toys everywhere i have a basket there for all the toys to be thrown in. my heart is more towards enjoying the small moments, the simple moments that you will remember forever. what i think i needed before is not at all important or adding to the memories i want to make. i don't want a crazy house payment that takes me years to work and pay off. i don't want a car note that takes away money that could be helping someone in need or taking my family to a place we have never been. i get in this routine of working to make money to pay bills. i want to do something i love & make money to live.

so with all that being said i have been looking at DIY projects for the home, storage container homes, using pallet woods for functional floors/cabinets, the tiny home movement, or just a small home in general. these are some of the ones that i am in love with.

one thing i do like is a front porch. i love when we go to the crawfords house and hang out on their porch like last weekend. you can get a swing, or tie up your eno & relax. 

look at these shipping container homes, such a cool idea.

amazing kitchen ideas.

for the living room.

i can just see friends gathering in these spaces to play music, play games, talk about life, & eat dinners. yes, i am all for eating dinners in the living room. all my thoughts about future homes are about the people who are in it. the memories to be made. when we buy a home one day i want to live there for a very long time. when i was younger we moved so much & i don't want that for my children. i want them to have roots & stability. 

i also daydream about a farm. having my own garden, canning, growing my own veggies and everything else, raising chickens, & having a cow or 5.

check out these easy little garden beds.

a little green house too.

all of these can be found on my pinterest board here

i cannot wait to see what the future holds for me & my dream, but i am learning to live & love the journey.

cheers,

mrs. estes

mwen renmen ayiti.

i haven't really shared on my new blog yet my love for haiti, but in due time you will all know. if you ever want to read past stuff of mine you can do so here.

i have been to haiti twice now & i have made lasting friendships & even better- i have gained family.

one of those relationships come in the form of an 11 year old (soon to be 12). he is little ball of energy, so smart, so caring, and his heart is huge for his age. he is so funny & keeps us all laughing. friday we will be picking him up from the air port & my heart is wanting to skip these next few days. his name is wedds.

there is also guytho- the best soccer player in haiti as he would say. he is not ashamed of his love for the lord & is always willing to help us every trip. he is also always willing to pose for the camera & sing so loud when we do worship.

billy "billy goat" is sometimes quiet, but once you get him in conversation you realize what a sweet spirit he has. when we were there in may sarah & i were helping take people after their intake appointment to another building for medicine and care from the medical team. they had these sheets with how many family members and info about their family that they would carry so we could give it to the intake team. billy walks up & says, "evanda i am here for you if you need any help", I said, "ok, thank you billy" he then proceeds to tell me that we need one of those papers for me, him, cory, nick, & ronda because we are family. a little light went on in my head and my heart turned into a puddle. "yes billy, we are family"

pepe is amazing. he is wedds older brother & one of the sweetest guys i have ever met. his love for the lord is captivating & encouraging. the saturday before we left he gathered us all into the living room in the apartment we were staying at and told us he wanted to thank us for coming to haiti & loving his country. a country that he is so proud of & you can tell his heart is for his people. he wouldn't like me bragging on him like this, but i cannot help it. wedds was in tears because they were leaving that day & we didn't know when we would see him again. pepe opened up his bookbag and pulled out what looked like a bleach bottle. a towel and a little plastic bin. ronda & i looked at each other and the tears were flooding. he started to wash one of our team members feet, samuel joined him & he made his way around the room. praying & washing each one of our feet. i cannot begin to tell you what that did to my heart & my eyes. for those of you who do not know the significance of what washing someones feet really means, please look it up on your own time & read about it or go here this is a pretty easy read about it. before i went to haiti the only thing i knew was what i was told, or what the news/internet told me. you go there knowing that they don't have much, material things anyways. there is a lot of poverty, but i feel like they have so much more in spirit than we do. they trust & know god on a completely different level. pepe washing our feet & thanking us for coming there just blew me away, i should be washing his feet thanking him for opening up my eyes to see so much truth about  myself & about the lord.  we take so much for granted & i came back from haiti with my life forever changed. my whole perception was changed. what i wanted and expected out of life was forever changed.

i cannot forget samuel. so sweet. so funny. always telling jokes and playing pranks. i feel like i have gained another brother & i look forward to his huge smile every-time i go. he always asks me questions about my life & takes the time to get to know me. i appreciate that so much. he takes care of our team each time we go to haiti & helps out anyway he can. look at him you guys. you can see kindness in his face. he is so handsome.

there is junior. he is an amazing artist & one of the guys i talk to the most being back in the states. he is very soft spoken & sweet, which seems to be the theme with my new friends/family. he is so very handsome & is always so welcoming to our teams.

i feel like every person i come in contact with is gorgeous. every child, woman, man, they all are so beautiful. i am so blessed to be able to go to haiti each time, & every person that donates to help get the estes there is such a blessing. you have helped change our lives & theirs at the same time. here are some of my favorite pictures o we have taken while we are there. (we being ronda & i, as we do photography together)

last but def. not least is my sweet boy wilderson. i love him so much it hurts & i think of him every single day.

this was him from my first trip.

he was so shy & maybe said 3 words to me on our first day there. our last day we went back and as soon as i met eyes with him he said, "evanda". heart=happy. he remembered me. he wouldn't even tell me his name the first time we went there or the last. 

this past trip however, he drew it on my arm. he also wrote on a piece of paper for me. he was so sweet leading me around the playground telling what certain things were in creole & i would tell him in english. what i would do to bring him home with me. i would do anything. it is so amazing to me how you can meet someone and not know anything about them & have such a strong connection to them. the lord is amazing and connecting our hearts to others.

ronda took my favorite picture of him so far. he is so handsome & his face says so much. 

i love you wilderson & i cannot wait to see you again.

this is just a little about my heart for haiti, if you would ever like to donate to our trips (which is tax deductible) you can do so my emailing me- evanda.estes@gmail.com

mwen renmen ayiti.

p.s. ronda- you are my kindred spirit. that close friend i feel like i have searched for, for so long. thank you for introducing me to haiti & adding to my family. thank you for speaking to my heart on so many occasions. thank you for being my business partner and dreaming with me. thank you for showing me an example of a godly mother and wife. you are such a light to me, you inspire me & you motivate me to chase my dreams. mwen remen ou.

cheers,

mrs. estes