teach a man to farm.

--Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime--

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

you all know how important teaching kids life skills  is to me. well this upcoming trip to haiti we were going to have farming classes with the kids. we would have a beginner class & an advanced class. well the first week we had to cancel the class because the kids will have final exams that week. 

SO. food for the poor delivered some really cool raised garden beds to CAD, with some AMAZING dirt. you might think that is absurd for me to be so happy about dirt but if you go to haiti & you see the dirt i have to work with sometimes you would understand. dirt that has been worked & worked is a precious thing. 

the kids helping unload them. they are always so willing to help.

the agriculture guy who delivered the beds spoke with alix & they organized a trip for him to come & give the kids a class on CAD property with the new raised beds. in a few days they will plant SO MANY VEGGIES. 

this is an answered prayer. you have no idea. a lot of people think i don't do anything because i don't have a full time job, but let me tell you these 53 children keep me busy. they keep me in prayer & keep me figuring out a plan to keep them fed, to keep them in school, to keep them drinking water, to keep them feeling loved, to keep them believing in their dreams. my heart is broken so many days. my mind spends too much time in worry instead of trust. God knows those kids are there. he knows their needs before they even ask. i am a mother to them. i feel responsible. when i raise money for these trips every single penny goes to these kids, translators, transportation. anything extra goes to buying them fruit & spoiling them while we are there. 

they LOVED the class. 

when i get photos of my kids working in the dirt & learning such an amazing skill that so many take for granted it literally brings me to tears. 

dear wilderson, you can stop growing. love your mom. 

mixing compost & dirt. *fun fact* most of the compost has rice in it to hold moisture. SMART. 

even the teachers were helping. 

THIS is what i live for. these kids have NO ONE. i don't think most of you can comprehend that. these kids fend for themselves. they eat rice every single day & you won't hear them complain. you will see them by themselves & you ask them whats wrong & they tell you they are hungry & their stomach hurts. its heart breaking. they don't have anyone buying them clothes. hugging them in the mornings. NO ONE. as i sit here & write this i am in tears bc i know these kids so well. i want the BEST for them & sometimes things seem impossible. i choose to trust in God. even when things seem so out of reach. please be in prayer that the non-profit goes quickly so we can start getting some funds on a regular basis to support these amazing kids. 

today when i had a little moment of worry the song "first", by lauren daigle, came to my mind. 

i put the lyrics below, just take a minute & read them. gosh, help this be my life's song. 

Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
Before I lift my cares
I will lift my arms
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
And seek You

First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First

Before I speak a word
Let me hear Your voice
And in the midst of pain
Let me feel Your joy
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I speak a word
I will bring my heart
And seek You

First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First

You are my treasure and my reward
Let nothing ever come before
You are my treasure and my reward
Let nothing ever come before
I seek You

First
First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First
First

what would i do without the lord? i would be a mess. i would be nothing. nothing good that i ever did would ever truly matter in the long run. my pastor growing up used to say "pursuit is the proof of desire" that has stuck with me since i have heard it. i constantly ask myself, God is what i am pursuing something i should desire? i want everything i do to reflect the bigger picture of what God is doing. i want people to know my heart. i want people to know what really matters to me. i don't want to have to defend my character to someone. i want my life lived to show my hearts intentions. don't get me wrong i do NOT have anything together more than my neighbor, but as i have gotten older i have realized more & more what is REALLY important. i have realized how much i NEED the lord every single day.  i have realized the importance on relationships that are genuine & healthy. i feel so incredibly blessed to have found these 53 children who are in need of so many things. i feel blessed that THEY love me. i feel so blessed that they know how much i love them. i feel so blessed to be able to go & see them & spend time getting to know their hearts & dreams. to pray with them & look into their eyes & tell them that they matter. 

if you want to give towards our next trip you can do so HERE but PLEASE pray for these kids. please. 

28 more days. 

- e

jesus is enough.

i prayed before writing this blog that my words would convey what my heart is feeling.

when i come back from trips to haiti i am usually sad. everyone reacts in different ways & mine is sadness. i always miss it. i miss my friends there, i miss my CAD kids, i miss church there & i miss the simple way of life. i always know i am going back, but i am still sad.

don't get me wrong, i am so appreciative of my life & how blessed i am, how blessed we all are really.

life gets in the way too many times. it keeps us from the things of God. it keeps us from pursuing our hearts calling. it keeps us from loving the least of these. how many times do we say, "thats not for me" "i am too busy" "i need to clean the house" "i need to- fill in the blank" "i don't have the money right now" "i don't have time for that"

this is our problem. too many "i's"

when did we start putting ourselves & what we want before what God wants for us.

psalm 18:30

God's way is perfect. All the LORD's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection

we think we have everything figured out. we think we know what is best for us. we think we can always do it on our own, BUT we don't have too. why do we do this? why don't we trust? why don't we truly believe that his plan for us is better than our own?

one thing i love about going to haiti, is that it is a reminder that, jesus alone is enough.

that phrase alone brings me to tears. HE IS ENOUGH.

when your sadness is unbearable- HE IS ENOUGH.

when you have bills & you don't know how you will pay them- HE IS ENOUGH.

when you worry- HE IS ENOUGH.

when you feel like you cannot take anymore- HE IS ENOUGH.

here in america we like to what i call, advertise jesus. we have the fog machines, we have the bright lights, we have the perfect singers & perfect musicians dressed to impress. we have the, "come to church & win an iPad" all for what? to bring more people to church? WHAT? you guys jesus needs none of this. none of it. HE ALONE IS ENOUGH. he doesn't need your perfect building, he doesn't need your fog machines. we give ourselves excuses  & say this is what everyone is doing, this is what people want. well you know what they are at church for the wrong reasons. i would rather have 5 people in my church that are TRULY after the lords heart than 3000 that come to church on sunday for the fog, the stage design, or to meet their future date & gossip during the week & leave jesus on the pew. Jesus in his goodness & his sacrifice for us is ENOUGH. if that alone cannot compel someone to search their hearts then what will your fog machine do? he DIED for you but you need a good stage design to see that? we have to sing a secular song on sunday morning so people aren't offended & scared to come back? what has this world come too?


when did we become so spineless. when did we start falling for everything. when did we forget to wake up & say God, what do YOU want for my life? what do YOU want me to do today?

JESUS ALONE IS ENOUGH.

when i am at church in haiti i feel so much of the lords presence. it is so refreshing that i don't want to leave. can you imagine waking up in a little hut, with dirt floors- not knowing where your next meal is going to come from, how your children will get to school, & you come to church in the best clothes you own & your worship the lord like he is right in front of you. you sing louder than the walls can contain & people can probably hear you for miles. THIS is right. they have it figured out. they have learned to wake up & trust the lord every single day. they know that JESUS ALONE IS ENOUGH.

philippians 3:7-21

3 Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. 2 Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prizefor which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

15 All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

¹⁷ Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. ¹⁸ For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ.¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame.Their mind is set on earthly things. ²⁰ But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

lord, help me. help me to trust you every single day. help me not to worry. help me to love you fearlessly. help me to not be jaded. help me to wake up with you on my heart, live my day with you being present & go to sleep with you on my mind. help me to truly believe that YOU ARE ENOUGH. nothing else in this world truly matters but you. what YOU want for my life. help me to never be luke warm. help me to put you before anything else. YOU ARE ENOUGH.

--e

being present.

what am i listening to? - Ben Rector on Spotify- I am literally just shuffling all of his amazing music.

anyways back to the post. do you ever just sit and think about your life, how it is, or how you want it to be? well i do. i do it all the time & i am sure i have written about this before. my man is always telling me to be more like a sniper rifle instead of a shotgun. what can i say? i like to do a lot of things all at once.

i think about where i would really like to live. i think about things i would like to have or buy. i think about vacations. i think about cars. i think to myself, man if i had the money i would do this or that. i would go here or there. i have been feeling really convicted of this lately. the lord is constantly having to remind me to be present. to be thankful for the here & now. i can spend so much time thinking of what i wish to be that i forget where i am & what i have now. i am so blessed. i have every single thing i need right at this moment & it is so important for me to acknowledge that. we all need to be reminded to be thankful for every single moment & know that the lord takes care of us each & every day. everything we need for every day we live is provided & that alone is an amazing thing. lets all challenge each other to be present. lets encourage each other to take everyday on a day to day basis. lets be there for each other in the times when we don't have lot & in times when we have so much. lets pray for each other & stand beside each other as christians should be doing. most importantly lets take time each & everyday with the lord to show him how much we care about him even in the times when we don't have what we think is enough. lets spend time with him when we have more than enough. lets put just as much energy in our time with the lord as we do with our new fitness schedule, or with our newest hobby, as we do with our friends, or even with this blog.

lets be present.

-- E

travel update & a haircut.

as you all know i was planning on going to haiti in september with my mom & cory, but we are changing things a bit. there is a bit of an issue with my moms passport that we are trying to get straight so right now we are putting all our efforts into our winter trip for the art/music school we are doing for CAD. roll with the punches right?

i will be going to haiti october 3-9 with LUKE 101. we will be extending the garden we built at CAD which i am really excited about. the garden is growing so much & i am so proud of the kids for taking such care of it! thank you to guytho for always checking on it for me, YOU are so important to me & those kids. i feel so blessed to be apart of LUKE 101 & so blessed to continue to do amazing things side by side with them.

see the progress? i am so proud of them! ahhh! i cannot wait to hug their necks & tell them to their face what an amazing job they  have done. i am also thrilled that we are making it bigger! ahhhhhhh! i literally could cry i am so excited. please pray our big garden grows beautifully & that these kids continue to learn from this experience. this garden brings so much to these kids. 

a side note- i got my hair chopped off & i love it. needed something new & easier. 

this past weekend we got to take a little trip to see wedds & celebrate so many amazing things. his birthday which is just around the corner, the fact that he got baptized! PRAISE GOD & he was selected for a traveling soccer team. this was my first time meeting his US family & they are priceless, genuine & they love wedds so much, which is so evident. the lord blesses us in so many ways & it never ceases to amaze me how he connects us all together. 

-- E

the aging home.

Isaiah 46:4

Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.

i felt so many things. when i first walked in. i was overwhelmed. i was confused. i was angry. i kept thinking in my mind, "how does this happen?" i have a " i can fix this attitude about most things, & i felt helpless. i walked around not making eye contact with anyone for the first 5 minutes. i didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act, how to feel. i remember following jj over to one lady's bed & she was reaching up towards jj saying things we didn't understand. we called for alex to come over & help us & wendy came too. wendy bent down & the lady was reaching for her & wendy hugged her & with tears she sang amazing grace to the lady. i was so broken. i just looked out the window trying to keep it in because at that moment i didn't want a flood of tears. the lady just wanted to be held, she wanted to feel loved, she needed that moment to cry with someone with their arms wrapped around her. 

1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

concrete walls. little cots. nothing personal. a lot of darkness. wet floors. dirty walls. this is basically their last stop before they pass & it was like a concentration camp. it was full of sadness & despair. it was filled with loneliness & anger. 

i met one lady who is now my grandmother. we prayed for her & she stood up & danced for us with her frail little legs. she smiled for me & in that moment my views changed about many things. in the midst of all of this she was happy. she was happy someone came to visit her. we were her happy moment. to be used like that for such a small moment made my heart skip a few beats. thank you lord for allowing me to be apart of one happy moment in that ladies life. 

i knelt down with one lady who waved me over & she held tightly to my arms & was just talking like we knew each other for years. i just smiled at her & listened. when she was done talking i hugged her neck & went on my way. to sit in that place & not be able to have conversation from day to day breaks my heart. 

we gave away hygiene kits to every single person there. to every person laying in their beds not able to move. to every naked man sitting in a wheel chair. to every single person & they were so happy. 

akisha was simply amazing. i absolutely loved getting to know this beautiful girl. the lord has such a plan for her life & i cannot wait to see what that is. she carried her guitar into  the aging home & led worship songs for all the elderly. to be able to do that was astounding. so much strength. she walked down the halls entering  each room bringing a little piece of heaven. what a thing to witness. they were clapping to the songs & it brought so many smiles. all the young people with ciy were raising their voices & singing with her. the voices were echoing in those rooms surrounded by concrete walls. in those moments you realize how your purpose is  being fulfilled. this is church. this is what we are supposed to be doing. akisha you are inspiring & NEVER forget the calling the lord has on your life. never doubt it for one second. you are a special young lady & the lords light radiates from you. 

there was one hallway where they have men stripped of their clothes & they were in wheelchairs lined up to get a shower. i can't even begin to tell you how shocked i was to see this. i felt so much sadness for them. stripped of their clothes & dignity waiting for someone to push them through a little bit of water. guys, we have so many things to be thankful for,  don't waste time complaining, we all do it- i do it daily. god forgive us. 

*photo red by jeremy westbrook

colossians 3:2 set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.

we meet alexander. he gave his life to christ & wants to be baptized. i was broken again. in the midst of all this he chooses you. he chooses a life in you. 

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

amazing day at the aging home & with all the sorrow there was so much happiness. i cannot wait to take my family there in september. please pray for all the elderly in haiti & around the country. if you would like to help the people at the aging homes please email me. there is a research team going to haiti to see how they can make some changes for these amazing people.

cheers,

e