la cabane night with the girls.

i usually stay at la cabane hotel  when i am in haiti. i love the atmosphere, the food, but mostly i LOVE the owners. tina & mr. pierre have become like family to me. i feel like i am home when i am there & with my days full of physical labor & sometimes more emotions than i know what to do with i love to come there at the end of the day & just hit refresh. i always push groups to stay there, because i know they will be in good hands.

if you are ever around that area GO STAY or go visit & have a dinner looking out at the lake. the sunrise and sunset will take your breath away. sit down with them & have a conversation. get to know them & listen to them share their thoughts about anything & everything. you will NOT be disappointed. order rice, beans, a cold coke & the chicken or goat. YUM! i always run into friends when i am there. it seems everyone else has the idea of taking a break there. love giving this place my business & i cannot wait to see them in june. this photo below was taken by alix- an incredible brother, friend, manager & photographer. this was the view at the hotel in january of this year. gorgeous.

so one night we took the girls there to get away. its not far from CAD but sometimes just being in a different place is fun for them. we were at the end of the week & this was an added on thing that we did so we didn't have money for dinner but i scraped up enough to get them some cold coke to drink. my mom had a bracelet craft planned with them too. we gathered all of them besides a few who had gotten into trouble & when i am there you have consequences when you are disrespectful. on the way there the girls were singing with me, teaching me to count in kreyol, singing me songs & it was so fun. nerlande kept saying, "oh evanda ou pale kreyol gwo" i was like um nope m' pale kreyol piti m' pale kreyol dousman. hahahah. it makes me feel good when they say i say things right. they really are the best teachers.

mom just taking it all in. 

when we got there all the girls got to see there old friend taina. you might remember her from my posts about her heart surgery. she  now lives with yvrose & just so happened to be at la cabane that night. they were all so excited to see her. please check out what yv is doing with hope house for haiti. she is an inspiration. she is the person that inspired me on this journey when i first met her in december of 2013. she is lead by the spirit & has so much heart in everything she does. 

look at all my pretty girls. 

pretty girls. kathia & babissa.

the cutie in pink was our winner. banaelle. i love seeing pictures of us together from my first trip to haiti december of 2013!

they each helped each other make their bracelets. they try to teach me to make these bracelets & i can NEVER learn. 

even the adults got involved.

wadler & i. love getting to know him & his heart on this trip. 

i love this photo. wa-wa is the only one ready. 

my mom & i. i feel so incredible blessed to have her on my trips with me. she is always so protective & making sure she watches out for me & the decisions i make. its nice to have someone on your team that is watching out for you. seeing her in haiti & loving these kids gives me so much joy. to come from a place where i would talk & journal about feeding kids who didn't have anything & having my own orphanage when i was 10 & now walking this journey with my mom is amazing. thank you for always supporting me. thank your for your prayers & being a huge part of this journey. you will never know how much it means to me. 

THANK YOU to la cabane for letting us come & eat. THANK YOU for always making me feel welcome & at home. THANK YOU for letting my kids spend a little time there. i cannot wait to see you guys in june & i cannot wait to see how much God blesses you guys. 

its ok to dream.

what are they made of? are they made of helping people. baking a yummy cake. owning your own landscaping company. starting a garden in your backyard. traveling the world. adopting a child.

for all my sweet babies at CAD they have no idea what it truly means to dream. they have no idea of even the possibility of what dreams are made of. they don't even know that its ok to dream. when you are surrounded by such a mess everywhere your dreams are on the back burner. when you have no idea if you will get 1 meal a day or 2 meals & if you are lucky you can get 3. the most basic of needs is what they know to hope for. it crushes me. it drives me to make a way for all of their dreams. its sad. to see these kids & how much potential & how amazing they are & THEY have no idea of what is on the inside of them waiting to be awoken. they don't even know the potential they have because they have never had anyone look at them & say what do you want to be? they don't even know to think that way. when they go to sleep at night in their awful rooms that are filled with nothing of inspiration they have nothing in their dreams other than fear of their future & what will happen to them. they are children. sweet kids that have never had parents to comfort them. to hold them when they cry. to cultivate their imagination. can you imagine? i am so blessed to have a mom that always let me push the creative envelope. i wouldn't be who i am without her.

with all that being said one of the projects we are doing in march is teaching them to dream. teaching them that when they put God first he will give them the desires of their heart. now someone literally asked me, is it ok to teach these kids to reach for something that may not happen? if you want to see me really angry please please please ask me that to my face. i will not mind speaking my thoughts. how could you ever say that. a child's dreams are what shape so much of their character. THEY are the ones that will change their country. THEY are the next generation of kids to be leaders. to own businesses. to help others in need. to be doctors. to BRING TRUE CHANGE. they are worth it. every single tear i cry. every single one. i could never look at them & say your dreams do not matter.  i want them to know when they think of their future & what they will be they have peace. i don't want them to be scared. these are children. i can't even imagine what its like for them BUT i can do something. YOU can do something.

my mother, myself, grace & tia will be going to haiti march 18th & staying on CAD property & doing a lot of projects BUT this one i am really excited about. we will be completely re-doing the boys bedrooms. right now they are depressing. they are sad. you might say what does a bedroom matter? it matters a lot. these kids go to bed at night & their little minds fill up with their worries. will i get food tomorrow? will i get water tomorrow? we want to make it a space when they sleep at night their minds are free to think of possibilities. to dream. to be excited about making a difference in their own country. THEY WILL CHANGE THE WORLD. we want to create a space that holds them responsible for something. they will each get one cabinet for all of their belongings to go into. THEY are in charge of putting all of their stuff into it. we taught lessons everyday this past trip on taking care of what you are given. if you want God to bless you with more you need to take care of what you have been given.

so how can you help? if you would like to donate to help us do all of this you can. you can email me -- evanda.estes@gmail.com & let me know. these kids do not even have a pillow. what we are thinking is buying each kid a twin sheet set along with a pillow. we will paint. i have photos of all the kids i am printing out to hang in their rooms. photos of their smiles. photos of happy things. along with some cool posters. this might seem meaningless to you BUT it means so much. we have to teach these kids that its ok to have happy thoughts. to want a better future. to KNOW their is good for them. KNOW their father wants good things for them. pray about partnering with us. baby steps that will lead to HUGE things. i can't wait to do this project. we will be going back in 50 days. we can do this together.

bondye beni ou. mesi anpil. tanpri lapriye pou nou.

-- e

dear grace.

i know i said i was going to write you a letter way back in june when i met you but better late than never right? sorry it has taken so long, so here we go.

in june before i met you i prayed that the lord would put a specific person in my path that i could learn something from & i am so happy that you were that person for me.

i remember when i first met you, (yes, i was in a bad mood) BUT you stuck out to me. i had this feeling that there was something more to you that i would even figure out on that trip alone. after long van rides, getting stranded at a farm, conversations at night that lasted 2 hours i realized more that you were that person. you know how much love i have for cad & those kids & seeing you love so freely encouraged my spirit so much. i look through photos & see you clinging to your sweet boy & my heart is overwhelmed. how blessed i am to have someone like you in my life that reminds me so much of the love that our father has for us. you are such a role model, such an example of unconditional love. do not ever lose that.

life is crappy sometimes, & sometimes circumstances can shape us into someone we do not want to be & sometimes even though life can suck we can make the choice to look past that & still love. that is such a gift. your love is open & free to those kids & that is so very special.

when the lord brings you to mind (which is a lot) i pray so much for you. i pray for your future. i pray that even though you might not have a clue of what you want to do with your life that you continue to seek the lords plan for your life. if i could give you any advice it would be this: if the lord puts something in your heart to do, do it. don't waste time. please do not waste your life wondering. i did that & now i am making up for so much lost time. time is irreplaceable. don't let unforgiveness & bitterness fester in your heart. that stuff is so painful. let it go. seek the lord to heal those places in your heart. people will let you down but GOD is always faithful. he is dependable. he is good & he loves you so much.

i pray that the broken parts of your heart are healed so you can love better. i pray that you become more confident in who you are in christ so you can share that confidence with others. i pray that you have a closer relationship with the lord so when he speaks to you, you hear what he is saying. i pray that fear is replaced with peace. anger is replaced with happiness. loneliness is replaced with closeness. i pray that when you look in the mirror you see yourself the way that the lord sees you. i pray you see what i see in you & those that are close to you see. i pray that when you hide behind others you have the courage to step out & become the leader i know that you are. grace, you are not a follower & you have so much you can speak into others lives. don't let fear hold you back from changing peoples lives. you could be the one thing someone is so desperately needing. you are such an amazing, talented, beautiful, sweet, hilarious, compassionate woman & i am truly so thankful for you.

i see so much of my younger self in you & i can see so clear why the lord put us on the same path. you are going to change peoples lives. the lord has such a plan for your life & i am so blessed to be apart of your journey. i am so excited to be with you on this upcoming trip to haiti. i am happy for this new season of your life & all that it is going to bring to you.

your parents are blessed to have you & YOU are blessed to have them. even though it might not seem like it sometimes they truly have your best interest at heart. it might not be what you want or what you want to hear but know that they love you & only want good things for your life. i am always here for you no matter what. i love you so much & feel like i have known you for such a long time. you are always in my prayers. you are always welcome in my home. you have a little piece of my heart & will forever be my sweet little grace.



- EARL