Friday, April 10, 2015

when passion & calling collide.

it has taken me some time to get around to writing this post, mainly because i needed to line words up with my heart & because when you come back from a mission trip your emotions are nuts & i cannot put a pen to a paper much less put it out there for the world to see.

for those of you who don't know me- i am not an open book with my heart. with the deep things. i tend to keep those to myself or for talks with the lord in the shower where the hot water can wash it all away. i build these walls for protection & the lord works so hard to take them down a little at the time. i have been in this personal struggle since my first trip to haiti - december of 2013. i knew from the moment i decided to go that it was going to mark me in a way that i would truly never be the same. it was true. i am trying to put words into the feeling i had & still have to this day- its like if you are a singer & you are getting ready to sing in front of a lot of people for the first time, you are nervous, you are excited, you are scared, you step out on the stage & start singing & its like you know that is what you are supposed to do. like nothing is better than that moment. or when you try sweet tea for the first time. lol my heart has never been the same. little kids who hold your hand & look into your eyes wanting to be loved. they are searching for the lord & through a language barrier & sometimes horrible conditions you can hold that little child in your arms & cover them with kisses & hugs & not say anything at all but show them so much at the same time. love conquers all.

when i was 8 the passion for serving people started. the passion for loving people in a way i was too young to understand.  i would tell my mom that i wanted to get a plane & fill it with food to feed all the kids that didn't have anything. i wanted to adopt kids. i wanted my own orphanage. i wanted to go on trips & help people- i just wanted to serve. i never cared about how much money i could make, going to a big school for years to get some degree. those things did not matter to me at this age & really if i am honest they don't now. sometimes the world can creep into your mind, into your heart & make you think the things you wanted at such a young age were just daydreams. those dreams when you are young birth passion in your life. sometimes you are blessed like i have been & i found my passion. i knew my passion when i was young & let it slip away. i let the world fill me with worry & doubt creep into my heart.  i am 29 years old & i am finally answering the lords calling on my life to serve in haiti on a more full time basis. on paper it seems crazy bc cory is the only one who works, but the Lord is our provider. he is always faithful & always on time. when he calls you to something you say "here i am lord" -- it's a beautiful thing bc my passion & the lords calling on my life have literally collided in the most amazing way this last trip. he spoke to me clear as day, & i remember that voice. i remember it was the same voice that would speak to my when i was 8, it was the same voice that told me to dream big & to always put others first. he knew me from the beginning.

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.


-Mark Twain

Matthew 6: 25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

what will i be doing in haiti you ask?
meeting the needs of the people. 
 right now we are working to get very important things done at CAD- an orphanage very close to my heart. they are in desperate need of water & nutrition. at this time they do not have water on their property & they are in need of sponsors for nutrition monthly. if this is something that you would be interested please let me know. we are looking for  people that would commit to  give $50 a month, $100 a month- whatever the lord puts on your heart. it is a charitable donation & you can write it off. 
to break some things down if one person gave $50 a month these kids could have eggs everyday. eggs you guys- PROTEIN. fruits & vegetable are not something they have every day & for them to be healthy they NEED these things. i will fight for these kids to have whatever they need to be healthy & strong. i will fight for them to truly know the lord & know that HE is their provider. PLEASE consider giving up eating out once & using that money to feed these kids for a month. such a little amount can do so much. i have huge dreams for this orphanage & haiti. i am constantly praying favor them, praying that God provides & knowing that he is making himself known more & more by people showing his love towards them. i am praying that we have divine appointments with people that can help us get things done! the people i am working with have such a vision, they are just normal people that are answering the call to serve & we are working together to get things done. 
if you would like to sponsor me on this  path the lord is calling me on- please let me know & i will tell you how. i am looking for monthly sponsors, once  a year donations, or if you would like to sponsor a certain day of the year- that is fine too. please pray that the Lord opens HUGE doors for these kids. water, you guys... something we can turn on the faucet & have a drink whenever we want too. i cannot tell you how many tears i cry just thinking about these amazing kids. tears of sadness sometimes but happy tears bc i get to help make a difference in their lives, YOU can help make a difference in their lives.
as soon as we get water it will open the doors for so much more. we want to start implementing some self sustaining there, growing crops! this alone will filter into so many things, teaching them to take pride in what they do, it can be food they can eat, it teaches them discipline etc.
i want them to know they can have dreams. they can have vision for an amazing future. most of these kids have no parents, parents who cannot take care of them, & some children have been abused. 
i want art classes, music classes, sewing classes, photography classes. i have so many things i want to do. so many things that WILL HAPPEN. like my friend & brother, guytho, says, " If you say in the name of jesus, it will happen". 
so pray with me,  pray about committing monthly to these kids to help them have better nutrition, pray about sponsoring me on whatever level you can- prayer or financially. there is also the choice where you can go to haiti yourself & help on a trip. you can meet these kids that i love so much. 

i will be going back june 10-20, i will be there the first week of july, october & december. 

    James 1:27
    27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
i know this is a long, but i had a lot to say. thank you for letting me share what is on my heart & for celebrating with me on this new adventure. 

if you have any questions you can Facebook me or email me at

in christ,