for those of you who don't know me- i am not an open book with my heart. with the deep things. i tend to keep those to myself or for talks with the lord in the shower where the hot water can wash it all away. i build these walls for protection & the lord works so hard to take them down a little at the time. i have been in this personal struggle since my first trip to haiti - december of 2013. i knew from the moment i decided to go that it was going to mark me in a way that i would truly never be the same. it was true. i am trying to put words into the feeling i had & still have to this day- its like if you are a singer & you are getting ready to sing in front of a lot of people for the first time, you are nervous, you are excited, you are scared, you step out on the stage & start singing & its like you know that is what you are supposed to do. like nothing is better than that moment. or when you try sweet tea for the first time. lol my heart has never been the same. little kids who hold your hand & look into your eyes wanting to be loved. they are searching for the lord & through a language barrier & sometimes horrible conditions you can hold that little child in your arms & cover them with kisses & hugs & not say anything at all but show them so much at the same time. love conquers all.
when i was 8 the passion for serving people started. the passion for loving people in a way i was too young to understand. i would tell my mom that i wanted to get a plane & fill it with food to feed all the kids that didn't have anything. i wanted to adopt kids. i wanted my own orphanage. i wanted to go on trips & help people- i just wanted to serve. i never cared about how much money i could make, going to a big school for years to get some degree. those things did not matter to me at this age & really if i am honest they don't now. sometimes the world can creep into your mind, into your heart & make you think the things you wanted at such a young age were just daydreams. those dreams when you are young birth passion in your life. sometimes you are blessed like i have been & i found my passion. i knew my passion when i was young & let it slip away. i let the world fill me with worry & doubt creep into my heart. i am 29 years old & i am finally answering the lords calling on my life to serve in haiti on a more full time basis. on paper it seems crazy bc cory is the only one who works, but the Lord is our provider. he is always faithful & always on time. when he calls you to something you say "here i am lord" -- it's a beautiful thing bc my passion & the lords calling on my life have literally collided in the most amazing way this last trip. he spoke to me clear as day, & i remember that voice. i remember it was the same voice that would speak to my when i was 8, it was the same voice that told me to dream big & to always put others first. he knew me from the beginning.
"THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT DAYS IN YOUR LIFE ARE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN AND THE DAY YOU FIGURE OUT WHY"