teach a man to farm.

--Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime--

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

you all know how important teaching kids life skills  is to me. well this upcoming trip to haiti we were going to have farming classes with the kids. we would have a beginner class & an advanced class. well the first week we had to cancel the class because the kids will have final exams that week. 

SO. food for the poor delivered some really cool raised garden beds to CAD, with some AMAZING dirt. you might think that is absurd for me to be so happy about dirt but if you go to haiti & you see the dirt i have to work with sometimes you would understand. dirt that has been worked & worked is a precious thing. 

the kids helping unload them. they are always so willing to help.

the agriculture guy who delivered the beds spoke with alix & they organized a trip for him to come & give the kids a class on CAD property with the new raised beds. in a few days they will plant SO MANY VEGGIES. 

this is an answered prayer. you have no idea. a lot of people think i don't do anything because i don't have a full time job, but let me tell you these 53 children keep me busy. they keep me in prayer & keep me figuring out a plan to keep them fed, to keep them in school, to keep them drinking water, to keep them feeling loved, to keep them believing in their dreams. my heart is broken so many days. my mind spends too much time in worry instead of trust. God knows those kids are there. he knows their needs before they even ask. i am a mother to them. i feel responsible. when i raise money for these trips every single penny goes to these kids, translators, transportation. anything extra goes to buying them fruit & spoiling them while we are there. 

they LOVED the class. 

when i get photos of my kids working in the dirt & learning such an amazing skill that so many take for granted it literally brings me to tears. 

dear wilderson, you can stop growing. love your mom. 

mixing compost & dirt. *fun fact* most of the compost has rice in it to hold moisture. SMART. 

even the teachers were helping. 

THIS is what i live for. these kids have NO ONE. i don't think most of you can comprehend that. these kids fend for themselves. they eat rice every single day & you won't hear them complain. you will see them by themselves & you ask them whats wrong & they tell you they are hungry & their stomach hurts. its heart breaking. they don't have anyone buying them clothes. hugging them in the mornings. NO ONE. as i sit here & write this i am in tears bc i know these kids so well. i want the BEST for them & sometimes things seem impossible. i choose to trust in God. even when things seem so out of reach. please be in prayer that the non-profit goes quickly so we can start getting some funds on a regular basis to support these amazing kids. 

today when i had a little moment of worry the song "first", by lauren daigle, came to my mind. 

i put the lyrics below, just take a minute & read them. gosh, help this be my life's song. 

Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
Before I lift my cares
I will lift my arms
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
And seek You

First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First

Before I speak a word
Let me hear Your voice
And in the midst of pain
Let me feel Your joy
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I speak a word
I will bring my heart
And seek You

First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First

You are my treasure and my reward
Let nothing ever come before
You are my treasure and my reward
Let nothing ever come before
I seek You

First
First
I want to seek You
I want to seek You
First
I want to keep You
I want to keep You
First
More than anything I want, I want You
First
First

what would i do without the lord? i would be a mess. i would be nothing. nothing good that i ever did would ever truly matter in the long run. my pastor growing up used to say "pursuit is the proof of desire" that has stuck with me since i have heard it. i constantly ask myself, God is what i am pursuing something i should desire? i want everything i do to reflect the bigger picture of what God is doing. i want people to know my heart. i want people to know what really matters to me. i don't want to have to defend my character to someone. i want my life lived to show my hearts intentions. don't get me wrong i do NOT have anything together more than my neighbor, but as i have gotten older i have realized more & more what is REALLY important. i have realized how much i NEED the lord every single day.  i have realized the importance on relationships that are genuine & healthy. i feel so incredibly blessed to have found these 53 children who are in need of so many things. i feel blessed that THEY love me. i feel so blessed that they know how much i love them. i feel so blessed to be able to go & see them & spend time getting to know their hearts & dreams. to pray with them & look into their eyes & tell them that they matter. 

if you want to give towards our next trip you can do so HERE but PLEASE pray for these kids. please. 

28 more days. 

- e

keep my mouth shut lord.

Psalm 141:3

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

i have been learning a lot lately about keeping my mouth shut. when you start walking through doors the lord is opening, i promise the devil is like WHOA. hold up. let me throw a wrench in this & lets see what happens. i have been praying so much that when things like this happens that i give it to him & i just don't speak about it, but lets face it.. i am human & ultimately screw up. i would talk about it with people bc i needed to "get it off my chest" but its all the same. its all gossip. i don't want to be that person. i don't like drama, but lately it has been popping up everywhere. 

Proverbs 20:19

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.

so to all of those that are my friends out there. say a prayer for me that through all of this i will keep my mouth shut & trust the lord to work it out. that i won't gossip about it, that instead i will pray about it. that i won't give any room in my life for this stuff. 

& to my friends out there. i don't want to spend my time talking about other people. there is so many other things to talk about. life. adventure. pursuing our calling. helping our community. feeding people. raising kids. baking. drinking coffee. so. many. other. things. 

-e