Monday, December 28, 2015

i have no idea what to call this post.

Your love not fractured, its not a troubled mind 
It isn’t anxious 
Its not the restless kind

Your love’s not passive 
Its never disengaged 
Its always present 
Its hang on every word we say 
Love keeps it promises 
Its keeps its word 
It honors what’s sacred 
Cause its vows are good 
Your love not broken 
Its not insecure 
Your love not selfish 
You love is pure 

- Piece, Amanda Cook

sometimes i can sit & listen to the same song 100 times & feel something different every single time i listen to it. sometimes i sit & listen to the song & the lord uses that song to minister to my spirit on maybe the 15th time of listening. 

sometimes in our lives we wonder where the lord is. we are to eager to feel something, to feel his presence. we want a change. we want all our horrible circumstances to vanish. sometimes we spend time seeking him & still nothing. why?

when we feel like we cannot take anything else, like all we need is to feel his love, to know he is there & still nothing. why?

i have no clue. all i can do is read his word & have confidence in his love for me. have trust in his word that when he says he is always with us that he means it. 

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord - ROMANS 8:38-39


have i not commanded you? be strong & courageous. do not be frightened, & do not be dismayed for the lord your god is with you wherever you go

as i have been praying & preparing my heart for this trip i literally have cried so many times in the shower, cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, drinking coffee, all the time. i feel overwhelmed but in a good way, yea we have been really slow at fundraising this trip BUT these kids are MY LIFE. their faces are in my mind every single day. their laughs are with me everyday. their sweet spirits are in my prayers every day & i cannot even tell you have ridiculously loved they are by me. if you spend anytime with me at all you know my heart & i am sure you have had an ear full about these kiddos & haiti in general. i feel so blessed to love these kids & be loved by them.  gosh you guys our lives are just so short & i don't want to die not pursuing my calling. i don't want to get in front of the lord & him look at me & say "evanda, i gave you a calling when you were 8, & what did you do with it? this is what you could have done" that line plays over in my head a lot. i don't want to waste time. i don't want to spend one second NOT being apart of something bigger than myself. the lord has been leading me to places i never thought was possible & i don't want things to pull me back. i want to keep moving forward with HIS PLAN.

everything & nothing less. my best, my all
you deserve my every breath.
my life, my song. 

i surrender. i surrender all. 
i surrender. i surrender all.
i surrender. i surrender all. 
i surrender. i surrender all. 

everything & nothing less
i give you
everything & nothing less
everything & nothing less
my life is yours
completely yours. 

- everything & nothing less - chris mcclarney

life is too short.
what is the lord calling you to do?
is it something that makes less money & you can't afford it?
if so, where is your trust?
are you giving the lord your all? your best?
he deserves so much more you guys.
myself included.

please pray for me & my group as we get ready for this journey to haiti. if you feel lead to give to our trip financially you can do so HERE