Tuesday, September 22, 2015

well, i am 30.

time is a funny thing. one minute you are 10 riding your bike down the road & the next you are folding laundry & making breakfast for dinner.

i remember wanting to be an anthropologist, then i remember wanting to be a marine biologists, then i wanted to be a singer & travel all around the world. some things do not change & my way of changing my mind is one of them.

photo by: ashlan

i have always been a dreamer. i always knew i could just do whatever i wanted, be whoever i wanted. the only thing that really changes is the person you want to become. you grow older & with that comes wisdom. all these doors open & close at any moment in your life. life is a funny thing.

photo by: ashlan

someone asked me what my 30 year old self would tell my 20 year old self. well i have been thinking about it since it was asked & my answer is,  never doubt the lords voice.

i sit & think, if i had only listened to him- i would have never done this, or dated this person, or made this choice, or wasted time on things that do not matter.

i am blessed that i have a chance to listen again. he is always talking, but sometimes we are not ready to hear. we are not ready to make the choice to say, i hear you.

someone asked me, well do you have any regrets?

normally people would respond, no way- bc all those choices made me who i am today.

photo by- ashlan

well my answer is yes. i do have regrets. i have things i wish i had never done. choices i wish i had never made. i sit here & say if i would have listened to the lords voice all the time i would never have any regrets. i would be so much farther. i would more than likely be a better person in general. i would have been doing missions for a lot longer than i have. i would have traveled singing around the world. i would have gone to college and majored in international affairs.

regrets. i think if people are honest with themselves , we would all say yep.

i am thankful though, thankful that the lord renews us. thankful for another day to choose to say i hear you.

i made a little list of promises to myself on my 30th birthday & i haven't told anyone.. yet.

these are things i want to do different this year.

am i the only person that does this? surely not.

a. stay true to myself
b. gossip less
c. be honest, even when it is hard
d. confide in the people that truly have your best interest at heart
e. travel more
f. dance more often
g. read more of the word
h. quit ignoring the baseboards- they need to be cleaned
i. write more thank you cards, or cards in general
j. read more books
k. be more confident
l. take a lot more photos
m. make sure my kids at CAD have everything they need

do you have a list? what is something on yours? any of my people in their 30's have some wisdom?

i am officially in the next age group box.