new paint, new sheets, new cabinet!

YOU GUYS.

thank you to everyone that made this project possible. to every person that donated. your donations made so many incredible things happen for some very deserving kids.

if you can remember, i posted here about their rooms before & why i wanted to fix them.

here are a few photos to refresh your memory.

no sheets. no pillows. no color. no life. 

its crazy to see these photos & know what they look like now. 

with projects like these you never know how things are going to turn out in haiti. this paint was unlike anything i have ever seen. it was so strong & you had to take many breaks while you painted to get some fresh air. to get this paint off your body you have to use gas. the great thing about this paint is its the best quality paint in haiti & you can wash the walls if something gets on them. with a room full of boys i knew we needed the BEST paint. this painting team did the best job. with rollers falling off every 5 minutes. with all of the headaches. you guys are troopers. i am so thankful for all of your hard work & how much love you show them. what would i have done without you??

KIM you are the BOMB!

Grace. 

Mom (our paint expert) & Kim. 

sweet tia. 

we mean business about this paint. 

we didn't plan on painting the ceilings but we started them this trip. 

kim was always smiling!

diana taking a much needed break with sweet maurice. 

the kids kept coming inside & saying WOW, it is so Beautiful. they really really really loved it. they were so excited about just the paint & they had NO idea that we were giving them sheets & a pillow & having their cabinet fixed. as you can see in this photo above they literally just had a piece of fabric on their mattresses. YOU guys that donated made SO MUCH happen. 

here they are working on the cabinet.

the kids wanted to have their pictures made with the cabinets. we are painting the inside of them in june. our cabinet guy came late (haitian time) & we wanted the outside to be fully painted before we did the inside. 

look at those smiles!

before they were putting their stuff under their mattresses & under their beds. i gave them all a lesson on taking care of these cabinets & how people worked really hard to get them fixed. something so little to us means so much to them. we let them pick out their sheets & they helped diana & i put them on all of the beds. it was so fun doing that with them. 

they wanted photos on their beds, with their new sheets & pillows in front of their NEW cabinet. 

most of these kids sat on their beds just looking at their new cabinet. they sat there watching it get fixed. they say there watching us paint it. it made me so happy to see them so excited. 

before they were pink & so ugly. NOW they are white & shiny & beautiful!

makendy on his new sheets. 

pipito. 

ronaldo. 

richelot.

pouchon.

reginald.

feniel.

wilderson. 

james. 

jameson.

johnny.

dawensky.

marvens.

sammy. 

marvens showing off his new sheets. 

when these kids go to sleep at night, they have sheets & a pillow now. i am praying when they close their eyes this room feels more like a home. i am praying that these little changes spark new dreams for them. that this project shows how much so many people care about them. 

when you get into bed tonight & lay your head down on your comfy pillow- think about these kids. say a prayer for them to dream good dreams. to dream dreams of everything they want to be.

THANK YOU to everyone that made this possible. 

what my heart beats for.

as i sit down to write my first blog since being back, i always think to hard. there was so much that happened. so many feelings. so many tears. a feeling of desperation & longing for these children's lives to be completely different. i want so much for them. i want a loving environment. i want good education. i want them to feel safe. i want them to know JESUS. a true, real relationship with the father. i want them to feel like they belong. i feel overwhelmed today with my calling. a lot of things i am stepping out in faith for. BIG THINGS. i HATE asking for people to donate on go fund me pages. i HATE asking for money, but i think about the kids & it pushes me to ask. i play it safe a lot of times. it is hard for me to go out on my own & do something. sometimes i need someone to hold my hand or be in my corner. the lord is constantly pushing me past my comfort zone. pushing me to only NEED him.  pushing me past my fears & completely trusting him with what my heart beats for. it is so scary. so scary for me- these decisions i am making. at the end of the day i have to tell myself. THIS is what i was meant for. THIS is my purpose. no one & nothing will keep me from reaching every step the lord is preparing for me. he is opening doors i only dreamed of as a 10 year old. man oh man the dreams i had as a kid i thought were just dreams. in all reality the lord was preparing my heart for these moments so many years ago. everything i have been through in life is helping me to walk this journey. helping me to love deeper. to break down walls. to help reveal to this next generation of Haitians that God has SO much he wants them to do. to help discover their dreams, to help them learn to walk in forgiveness, to help them be strong in their faith, to teach them skills to prepare them for the world. i just want to show them a mirror & say you see that face looking back at you. THAT is the face of someone who is going to bring change to your country. THAT is the face of someone who was meant for great things. THAT is the face of someone who will lead people to the lord. THAT is the face of a preacher, a doctor, a teacher, a mother, a father, a farmer, an architect, a soccer player, a soccer coach, a dentist, a surgeon, a lawyer, a missionary, whatever it is that they want to be. i want to be there when their sick. it is cute because i always take a first aid kit with me & if one of them get the smallest little scratch they come running to me asking for a bandaid. they don't have mothers or fathers. when i am there i don't mind putting bandaids on every little scratch. i don't mind teaching them about brushing their teeth. i don't mind reading heart wrenching files about their lives & the abuse they come from. all of this helps me reach them better. it pushes me to make things happen. THEY push me to TRUST the lord in everything on a whole new level. i am completely thankful for each one of those kids.

one of my little sweeties, jameson, wrote me the sweetest letter. he said that when i am there with him he forgets about all of his problems. it broke my heart. i am so happy that when i am there he forgets his pain & his past BUT i am sad bc when i leave who is there to hug him in the morning. who is there to tell him he has the best smile. who is there to tell him that he matters. when i go to sleep at night these thoughts fill my mind. sometimes i just cry bc i don't know what to do with all of my feelings. i take a shower & tears sting my eyes bc every little thing reminds me of them. i stand there crying & asking God what his plan is. so much struggle. so much pain. sometimes i feel so alone. i   feel like no one understands what i feel.  i feel like a crazy person for how much love i have for these kids. so many questions BUT within all of this, there is so much joy. joy i never knew existed. a happiness that only God can give. when i am there i don't think about the time. i don't think about how hot it is. i don't think about how my legs, back, arms, head, everything hurts from all the physical labor we do. i don't think about how i am missing my stupid starbucks coffee. i don't think about my air conditioned home. i don't think about my comfortable bed. i don't think about clean sheets. in those moments with them i am completely present & aware of the fact that i am the happiest person in the world & how i feel so undeserving of such happiness. within such heart ache i am in my happy place. when you find your calling in life PURSUE it. PURSUE it with everything you have. don't let anything or anyone keep you from that. whatever it might be. God has such purpose for every person reading this. nothing is too big or too small for God. i feel so incredibly blessed that my life has led me to this. every struggle i have had has made me stronger. every loss has made me stronger. every job has given me a skill that led to this. every tear. every day i cried out of frustration bc i had no idea what i wanted to do. every little day dream. every day i changed my mind on what i wanted to do. it has all led me to this. to them.

thank you to every person that writes me & tells me i inspire them.  thank you to everyone who prays for me. thank you to every person that puts up with my go fund me pages. thank you to every person that donates money. donates your time. reads my blogs. prays for my kids. prays for haiti. thank you to every person that talks to me for hours on the phone & encrouages me to keep pressing on. i NEED that. i NEED your prayers. so so so much. without YOU i couldn't do what i do. i feel so humbled. i am crying writing this bc i have so many emotions. it is not an easy thing to do what i do, but its so incredibly easy to love these kids. thank you God for calling me to haiti. thank you for giving me strength to go deeper in my walk with you. thank you for opening doors. thank you for what the present & the future holds. thank you for trusting me to love & to serve. thank you for everything you have blessed me with. help me to never take anything for granted. help the things that matter matter & the things that don't matter help me to forget about them. help me to stay focused on YOU & what you are saying. help me to give more. help me to continue to break down the walls around my heart. help me to trust you on a deeper level. thank you for always providing. you are such a good father.

this is what my heart beats for.

to be educated.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” 

― Nelson Mandela

i heard a little story today about a boy that is 14 & is not in school. it made my heart sad. 

do you know how much it is for him to go to school for a complete year?

$100

tears.

what does it mean to be educated?

to be educated means so much & so many things to me. 

i can go to school & get an education.

i can spend time with my mom & learn to bake & be educated. 

i can spend hours reading haitian kreyol & be educated. 

i can watch youtube videos on 13,000 things & get an education.

there are some places in the world where education does not come easy. 

it cost something. & not just time. it cost money which is hard to come with an economy that is hardly existing. when you don't even know if you will have a meal, education is only a dream. 

• 50 percent of children do not attend school. (World Bank 2013)
• Approximately 30% of children attending primary school will not make it to third grade; 60% will abandon school before sixth grade. (UNICEF 2008)
• Only 29 percent of Haitians 25 and above attended secondary school. (USAID 2015)

did you know that the average person in haiti lives on less that $2 a day. 

59 children out of 1000 will NOT live to see their first birthday. 

almost half of the population in haiti are children.

i don't want people to read this blog & say "aw poor haiti" please do not. 

i was talking with a friend that does amazing things in haiti & we were talking about the difference in sympathy & empathy when it comes to how we look at haiti.

empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

sympathy: 

feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune

what can i do to stop the cycle.  i can do a lot. i can def. forfeit coffee for a while to provide a child with an education for a complete year. 

$100. for an entire year of education. 

a lot of people  ask me what i do in haiti & why i go. 

why: it started with a stirring in my spirit. i wanted my life to count for something. i wanted to bring change. i wanted to find my purpose. bc i fell completely in love. honestly. with the people. the food. the culture. with the kids. so so so many kids. i see haiti in a different light than a lot of people. i literally could sell everything i own & move there tomorrow without one care in the world. i could sit in the dirt with kids all day long & never be tired of it. people go there & i hear. its so hot. gosh this is awful. this is so sad. i go to haiti & i feel hope. i see these resilient people  who fight so hard every day & i am encouraged. i see kids who love me with no boundaries & i am strengthened. i see an orphanage that has no material possessions but 55 kids who have the strongest hearts & so much potential. i look at those kids & i think THESE kids are the ones. they are the ones that will bring true change. they give me so much & want nothing. they make me better. they are my passion, my purpose. when you truly walk onto that path i am telling you, your life will NEVER be the same. i am sure people get annoyed with me talking about haiti & cad all the time but i will never apologize. i will never say sorry for what the lord has called me to do. 

my heart is for these kids. teaching them skills so they can make a wage. teaching them respect. teaching them responsibility. teaching them to take care of what has been given. teaching them to let go of hurt & forgive. teaching them that even though they do not have parents that they do have an amazing heavenly father that is better than anything or anyone else. showing them love. hugging them. wiping tears. giving hugs. 

there are also the kids in villages that have parents. some get to go to school & some don't. so what are we doing for the parents that can't afford to send their kids to school? 

what skills do they have?

is there education for them?

what are the needs according to the community?

what is important to them?

what is their vision for their community?

within these communities, within these orphanages there are people that are future teachers. future preachers. future chefs. future bakers. future clothing makers. future mothers. future fathers. future doctors. future lawyers. each one of their dreams are important. 

so when i go i want to build relationships with families. with children. i want to show them how much the father loves them through my life lived. i want to help build schools so teachers can teach. i want to build farms so farmers can farm. i want to build hospitals so doctors can practice medicine. i want to build churches so preachers can preach. i want to build restaurants so chefs can cook & bakers can bake. 

so many businesses were destroyed in the earthquake. you help families start a business & they can make money which can provide for their families & they can keep their children out of orphanages, they can put meals on the table. they can make a life for themselves. they can have self-respect. self-esteem. hope. joy. when they look in the mirror they can say wow, if i can do this what else can i do. then that family can help other families & pretty soon its not people coming & giving hand outs all the time which can create a dependancy, but instead we are helping start businesses, we are hiring haitians to build these businesses, we are singing together in church's that we built together, we are putting money into their economy, we are loving on children, we are helping orphanages be self-sustaining. we are giving families that are in need a more permanent way out of their circumstance by pulling their dreams & giftings out. 

so when you think of haiti please pray. 

pray for their futures leaders, bakers, chefs, doctors, nurses, engineers, pastors, teachers, farmers, mothers, fathers. 

education will bring so much change that is so needed. 

in 8 days i will be back in haiti doing what i love so much. i am so passionate about what i do. if you want to partner with me email me. lets grab a coffee & talk. 

i will literally talk about haiti all day long. so if you have the time so do i. 

iif you would like to contribute to a project on this trip you can do HERE

--E

some thoughts & some photos.

its march. whoa whoa. 2 weeks until i am on a plane to haiti again. WHAT! so exciting. 

*my family in haiti this past trip*

we still have some money to raise  but it always comes in at the last moment. some exciting things happening in my life right now & i cannot wait to share more about them. i want to have everything together & organized before i start talking about it. i have prayed & prayed & feel peace about this direction in my life. i feel like all these little steps i have been taking has led me to this place.  the feeling i had in my post about calling & passion  still rings true. so keep up with my blog so you can read first hand some exciting news. 

jennifer- you are such a joy. i pray for you every single day. i am so happy you were able to go back to be with your mom. 

Nerlande- you have such a sweet spirit. you are always smiling or laughing. always helping with the younger kids. you are such a joy.  i am so thankful for your willingness to always help. 

robenson- i am just amazed at your sweet heart. soon you will be baptized & i am just so happy for you. i can't wait to see you & i can't wait for our farm class. the lord has such a plan for you.

these kids you guys. you should come with me sometime & meet them. get to know them. ask them questions. let them ask you questions. on my first 2 trips to haiti i was real reserved i guess you could say. i was around all these children that had no one & they didn't speak any english & all i could do was just play with them. on my 3rd trip to haiti everything was different. i take time to get to know these kids. i started q&a with them. i gave them a chance to ask us questions. whatever they wanted to know. i remember one little girl asked me why i loved children so much. it almost made me cry but it also made me happy that she felt & saw how much i loved them. the same little girl was really concerned when i told her i wanted 6 kids- she was worried how i would feed them only have two boobs. hahahahahahah. i was like um. whoa. i don't want them all at the same time hahaha. 

kids. gotta love them. 

this next trip in march we have some devotions set up with the kids. 3 groups. we will talk about dreams. purpose. vision. desires. personal relationship with the lord. self worth. 

so many topics. so needed. 

can you imagine? you get sent to a place where you eat rice almost every day. you get water every once and a while. you share clothes with everyone. you have no one to love on you. no one to tell you to dream. to tell you that the lord has such an amazing plan for your life. no one to comfort you when you are sad. sometimes their stories are a lot darker. my sweet boy wilderson is from city solei. it is one of the worst cities in haiti. his parents died when he was young & he was raised by his bother. some things started going missing from the house & his brother would blame him & then beat him. he was also made to work on some machines that left little scars on his arms. eventually wilderson ran away from his house & ended up at CAD july of 2013. my first trip was december 2013. he was the first child i bonded with in haiti & he is my sweet sweet son. today i got a voice text from him & he was talking & couldn't stop laughing. he does this when he is nervous. which is exactly why i make him lead prayer. lead songs & put him on the spot as much as possible. 

these kids are future leaders & they will bring TRUE change to haiti. they will always know the LORD is their provider. they are overcomers. they are resilient, bright, loving, funny, talented, amazing kids. so if you get tired of hearing me talk about them or seeing my go fund me pages (soon i won't need these) or seeing me post about how much  i miss haiti & them -- just unfollow me. i will always fight for these kids. i won't apologize for  it either. 

see you soon. 

- ee